homesick

-prigen, july '08


13 days left and i'll see you...hiks hiks..how i miss home.. ;(

can't wait for it!!!

a bunch thank you

I have (ok say it) a big dream that i hope can be realized in near future. And i suppose English skill is one of the ways to reach that dream. So thank you for supporting me writing this blog in English. . . i’m still learning at all :D.

My dream is devoting myself to the nation! Oohh..haha..

And don’t hesitate to critic my English grammar.. oh not just about grammar, everything! just feel free to do it. i’m waiting and I’m really grateful for it pals! ^o^

2# Tri Rismaharini

Next great woman that i would like y’all to know is Mrs Ir Tri Rismaharini, MT. She was the Head of Dinas Pertamanan Surabaya who now working as the Head of Badan Perencanaan Pembangunan (Bappeko) Kota Surabaya.

Emm.. i’m not sure how to write Dinas Pertamanan and Bappeko in english so i choose wrote it in original language. Can somebody help me translate it?^o^

Anyway not like Kyoko who i interviewed by live, i saw Mrs Risma when i covered a seminar which she had been a speaker there. Honestly, that seminar is kind of boring (oops..) i feel dizzy and i suppose others too cause i saw no interaction between the earlier speaker and the audience (oopss again, sorry..)

I know that she would be a speaker there and i was wondering how she will looked like cause i already heard about her several times before but haven’t meet yet. The master of ceremony said that Mrs Risma would came late cause she must do something before, so when in the middle of the seminar the woman came into the room, sitting in the back, i’m just so so at first.

But then i was wondering who she is cause although she was sitting in the back, it can’t cover her appeal at all. She just look smart and when she started to talking with someone in front of her (which i suppose were a journalist) i’m wondering it could be Mrs Risma.

see the great woman inside?

And her presentation was great! Eventhough she said that her presentation didn’t related too much with the main topic of the seminar, i suppose nobody cares about it. Her presentation kinda brings fresh wind to a dizzy people around (include me). Seems like her way of talk which so lively and her fresh joke made the seminar more alive. I’m not joking about it. Man in front of me which yawn several times before, now seems laughing several times and i’m sure he listen to all what Mrs Risma said. And not only the man. Especially people in the back which spent almost all their time to talk with person beside them, now seems pay full attention to Mrs Risma. Even when they talked each other, it was for commenting what Mrs Risma said.

Weew. It’s a rare phenomena for me.

Oh yes. And i woke up from my nap then focus again to what should i do, covering news. Thanks to Mrs Risma.

Actually what i’ve been learning for her is her confidence. I suppose you can get more information about her in many source. From her talking and what i’ve read about her, she kinda brave woman who very dedicated with her work. Maybe i can’t perfectly tell you what she really left to me, but one of them is yes, her braveness. And her belief; how hard it is, it’s still must be done if it is already be our responsibility.

And how hard the truth could be, it still worth it to be done.

Honestly, it’s rare for me to meet the government employee. But i suppose if we have more Mrs Risma in our country (oh come on) we should have done better. You go Mrs Risma ;)

story behind the name

My name is Tyzha Inandia. Actually my father didn’t plan to give me that name, he had plan to gave me name Tazha Ananda which consider to my mum and dad’s name (hatTa fariZa) and Ananda which means ‘the daughter of’. So Tazha Ananda means the daughter of Hatta and Fariza. I knew this things when i was in about 4th grade of elementary school. People in the school often asked how can i get the unique name and what is it means. i don’t know how to answer them so one day i asked my mum and she told me the story behind my name above. That at first they have another name for me.

But one thing, i forget to asked her why they change my name in the last minute to Tyzha Inandia. Tazha Ananda has a meaning but i have no idea about Tyzha Inandia. . .
Till know i haven’t ask my parent why they change my name. Just like there’s something which persistent me to ask them why... i don’t know why is it. Inspite of my dad who admire ‘y’ letter so much and my uncle whose his last name is Ananda (and later give his name as the last name of all his children), i really have no idea why they change my name.

Except Tyzha Inandia sounds sweetier than Tazha Ananda haha..

And yeah! ‘y’ letter really works! I found some excitement in this letter like my father does!

Emm, i hope i can ask the them the reason why they change my name at near time. I don’t know why it so hard to just ask..

Oh yeah actually i’ve nickname that used only by my family and my close friend. It is ‘Inan’.People stop calling me Inan since i was in the college. Actually when i was in the high school, teachers (who usually call her students by their first name) start calling me Tyzha. I feel uncomfortable that time cause i grew up with Inan not Tyzha. But i was tired told them to call me Inan cause they always call me Tyzha in the end. Lately, i found that was ok. Inan or Tyzha is just same. But my schoolmate keep calling me Inan.

tyzha,inan..is just the same!
i'm still a girl with veil who get mad once a month!haha..

When i was in the college, i start present myself as Tyzha. It just for simplicity actually. So even my lecturer and my mates know me as Tyzha. But then i found it hard too when my high school friend ask my college’s mate don’t they know Inan and my college’s mates said even never heard that kind of name! Haha..whatever..

1# Kyoko Nakano

Since i have been involved in ITS online crew, i got a chance to meet many people. Some of them leave mark in my heart cause their humble, and other push me to go forward cause their high spirit.

I’ve got some here. All of them are woman. It doesn’t mean that i haven’t meet great man actually, it’s just to show especially for you who are a woman; being a woman makes no difference in the way we work. I believe that woman and man are different, each have their own part. But i really hate woman who use their status as a woman as a reason to stand all their way in man’s hand and limit their selves to develop.

Emm..sounds like i am kind of feminist yeah? Haha i’m a feminist who need a man ;p. And being a housewife is my childhood dream ;p ;p (oh why i told you bout this?haha..)

First i would like you to know Kyoko Nakano. She is a Deputy team Leader for JICA PREDICT ITS, a cooperation between ITS and JICA in field of ICT. I interviewed her on February for first edition of ITS Point, ITS’ magazine.

this is Kyoko :)

I was enough nervous at the time because that was the first time for me to interview foreign people. Everybody push me to do this task ‘oh come on you’re able to speak english!’oh yes but even my TOEFL score haven’t reach 550!

I still remember i cooped up in ITS online room for one hour, peeped Kyoko’s Nakano room (yes, our room is in the same floor on ITS library floor 6th) i don’t know hoping for what, hoping she walk out for her room or what.. just want to see my informant-to-be.. or just wait till my heart beat reached it’s normal beat..i don’t know. I done such a stupid things till Brother Marji, my senior in ITS online said ‘what kind of journalist who is coward?’

Ouh yes. Honestly it really bit me but thank you bro!^o^

Then i went to Kyoko Nakano’s room and got some interview in english. We were accompanied by Brother Muis, Indonesian people who work in the same room with Mrs Nakano. One thing that i got then is Nakano was a humble people.. and i suppose it was the characteristic of japanese people, she was confident to talk. Even though her english conversation at the time was not very good but she talked as confident as we all can hope (i really embarassed for this because i almost have no brave to talk to her only about my english skill ;[ ). And about her humble heart. Ouh i feel really sorry for it too.. Maybe it’s because my low self-confident at that time, there was such a worry that i would be humiliated by her or what. (i’m really really sorry for this; i’m such a negative thinking people at the time ;( ) so i was enough surprise to found her talked so humble.. so nice.

And i realized that i still appreciate what she did that time, i think it’s touch my heart. She is pleasant woman at all :)

I suppose that i quite like her so i gave her a birthday gift (actually Nakano said that birthday date is privacy for Japanese people so i don’t mentioned it in my article, but then it made me felt like have a responsibility to give her something. Haha i don’t know what this thinking came from ;p)

Then she emailed me:

Dear Ms.Inandia

This is Kyoko, PREDICT-ITS.

Thank you very much for the beautiful gift! I love it!

East Kalimantan is one of the places that I've been strongly

attracted to but not visited yet.

Especially, I'm interested in the creatures there,

and hope that I will have a chance to see them in the near future.

I'm sorry I could not see you when you visited our office, and

sorry for being so late in saying thank you due to my business trip to Papua.

Good luck in your work for ITS Point,

and we're always very grateful to your warm attention on our project.

Regards,

Kyoko

Can it be sweeter than that eh?? I gave her a Dayak wallet. I suppose that she would like it. And one copy of ITS point that she was being a profile there.

Well Mrs Nakano, you're welcome. Thank you for your warm attention too :)

please welcome the b'day!

It’s already September and if we’re counting it’s only 3 months left to reach December.

It’s means i’m gonna see my birth date again if God still gave me opportunity to see it, amin..

This year could be my 20th birthday. Beside seventeen, most people assume that being 20 is a gate to the maturity.

Every year, in my birthday i always hope and pray to God that in the year i could be a better person. And in every year i always regret what have i done in the past one year. And i always make a plan, what to do and what don’t do for the year. something like the goals for the year. The moment seems enough because my birthdate is in December 31th so it feels nice to start all the new thing exactly in the new year in the next day.

It’s just a secret actually, so keep it for yourself ;p

I always cry in my birthday.

I always cry in my birthday.
(this photo was taken last year on d b'day)

i suppose it was a manifestation of regretness to all my fault in the year. think that i haven’t done anything good enough and how much time was spent unuseful.

I am wondering someday i can spend my birthday with smile. At least i’m satisfied with what i’ve done in the year.

And for this year, for my birthday i have some hopes.

1. I hope i can be a better friends for all my mate

2. I hope i can be a better daughter for my parents, and better sister too

3. I hope i look good to my God

Euh, i suppose my hope was never changed every year

But for my first hope, i really mean it for this year. it’s consider to my friend, call her X. Emm..i’m quite miss her and i hope she will start talking to me in near future. Actually i didn’t see any reason why we must stop talking each other. But i accept if she still mad to me and i’m waiting till she feel ready talking to me again.

And for someone that i’ve been such a jerk haha.. Everytime i say sorry he always say that i’ll do the same mistake again. You’re not right at all man.. Maybe you can’t see that i’m changing but everything need process.. trust me, everytime you complain me, i’ll take it as a critic to myself, to change myself to a better person. And everytime i say sorry, i really mean it (that’s why it quite hurt when you said that i’m ‘sick’ haha..)

I’m really sorry cause you haven’t see the best part of me, but thank you for all. Maybe we’re not a match couple, but our togetherness in the past teach me to be more mature, more positively thinking, like i’ve try to do till now.. thank you, thank you.

And for my mate, dila. I’m sorry to be such a bad mate for you. I swear in the future i’ll give everything to you.

Emm..actually this hope consider to everybody who care to me, who receive me like i am. It’s not a must to be in my side every time but thank you for the support that keep me found my mind when i’m messed up. Thank you.. i hope i can pay all of it someday.

Well yeah. Those are my hopes for this birthday.

this Ramadhan brings my memories with him. Haha don’t continue read this post cause it could be so..

Ehm. Melancolic?

Actually i spent last ramadhan with him. I didn’t feel so homesick like now because there was him at the time. Sometimes i found that i’m still missing him but i think it’s normal cause i have been staying in love with him in quite long time, not only falling in love.

Ouh but please don’t be misunderstood.it is only becuse i’m not being home in ramadhan, moment which usually i spend with my family in my hometown. Last year, the first ramadhan i spent myself in Surabaya as a college student i didn’t force myself too hard to let my mind off from my family because he made me enough busy actually ;p. But now i’m alone so i found that, yeah, it’s hard to be alone in Ramadhan.

The fact i’ve family in Ampel. But i can’t visit them regularly cause i’m still messed up cause of my task in new semester.

I ever spent Ramadhan far from my family, when i’m still in a high school in the neighbour city of my hometown. That because we must still went to school on Ramadhan cause we were already in 3th grade (yeah, preparing us for national examination). But my school is boarding school. So i still have many friends 24 hours to share our sadness (haha) cause spent ramadhan far from our family.

I miss my home. I never leave my hometown more than one year before this. ;(

I suppose i often wrote posting like this. What we call it? Grumble..no no. Complain. Sigh. Yes.

But i think that what a diary is for right? Show off what you can show directly ;p or what you’re not confident to talk, and feel more comfortable to write on it.