Friday, December 22, 2017

Lima

Hari ini, lima tahun silam, dengan tersuruk-suruk saya berjalan ke kamar mandi untuk berendam dengan air ratus (atau apapun itu) sebelum menunaikan solat subuh terakhir dalam kondisi sebagai seorang single. Dalam bak air hangat yang disiapkan Ibu untuk menyambut hari spesial itu, pikiran saya campur aduk antara, literally, pusing karena kurang tidur (semalam begadang mengerjakan hiasan untuk photobooth resepsi), sampai ke segala perasaan absurd yang mungkin dirasakan oleh semua calon pengantin. To be short, setelah subuh ibu-ibu perias datang, saya mulai dirias, dan segala sesuatunya mulai terasa cepat sejak saat itu.


I won't say cheesy things like I love you, I promise. After these years, cinta itu menjadi sesuatu yang kadang terasa unreal dan susah terdefinisi (apalagi kalau lagi-lagi lihat baju kotor geletakan tidak pada tempatnya). 


Saat memutuskan untuk menerima pinanganmu dulu, saya tahu bahwa menikah bukanlah melulu piknik bertaburan cahaya matahari di padang rumput berbunga, tetapi tetap saja badai yang datang mengagetkan. Namun darinya saya belajar bahwa pernikahan adalah lifetime journey, bahwa segala kebahagiaan atau apapun yang ingin kita rasakan dalam pernikahan, haruslah diusahakan. Kalau sekedar manis-manisnya pengantin baru, rasanya kita sudah selesai di tiga bulan pertama ketika pertama kali berantem hebat ya, Bi, wkwkw.. But, that's the commitment we make, dear, yang membuat kita bertahan selama ini. Belajar, belajar, dan belajar terus untuk saling memahami, saling menyesuaikan, to make this marriage works.



Semoga pernikahan ini berkah..
Kita bisa bertumbuh bersama anak-anak..
Menjadi orangtua yang solih-solihah, dan mencetak generasi yang demikian pula..
Semoga perubahan apapun yang terjadi pada diri kita, adalah perubahan ke arah kebaikan.


Selamat tanggal 22 yang kelima..
Sakinah mawaddah wa rahmah till Jannah, Insyaallah :)

Saturday, December 9, 2017

Personal Note

Only Allah knows,

how I miss taking notes whilst listening to the professor..
reading tons of literature in the library..
how I miss taking English class (and maybe start over my French too)..


how I dreams the chance of being a student once again.

Student who literally sitting in the class..


[it's raining outside, it gives me blue]

Monday, September 25, 2017

How to Balance

This afternoon I was stalking along some of my favorite Instagram accounts. I jumped to kekekania’s and strolling around her timeline until one post; in which she answers question from people who asked how to balance works and family (since she looks very good in both of it). And her response was like, “What balance? My Gawd..it’s a mess!!"

Haha..

A nice-growing one business, happy family with two kids and husband who able to cook, not to mention always looks good in her comfy-effortless working outfit, it’s easy to people judging that way. Including me, who always think that how amazing any woman can gain that much energy (and still stay sane). Well, it‘s bit relieving later to know that it may not be 100% true :)) (Then I guess, there’s hope for woman like me :p)

Keke said that she doesn’t want to give up on her dreams, yet she tries her best to be present for her kids. I think this is sum up everything. My dream, your dream, our dreams were as valuable as others. Not because of marriage, nor having kids, we should stop.

Maybe it will be harder to reach,
Maybe it looks so far, far away, you have no idea will you reach it someday,
Or maybe you need a little arrangement to fit in your condition nowadays..

But just don’t give up on it.


Of course there will be a mess, who doesn't? Every woman does. It's just (mostly) social media covered it well. Keep on rolling, running, walking even crawling; just simply keep on moving to try balance things. 

If it’s makes you happy, if you think it’s makes your life worth it, more if you think it will become the legacy you want your kids inherited, go for it, mama :)





Work hard for it, and give the best for your family *smooch x