well i'm gonna post something here, nothing in pparticular, just some babbles like most i do. thank you for keep reading before :)
Guys you must be recognized that some, umm most maybe, of my posting was kind an emo one. Yeah contains emotional things, personal, and..melancholy. too much sadness inside, fear, guilty.. all about dark side of this life. Ohh my life is not as that bad! My life is such a gift! But when I’m sad it is much easier for me to write, cause I don’t really enjoy share my sad feelings by verbal actually. But yeah some of you must be misunderstood about this so the conclusion is, I will write more cheerful thingy here! Haha.. maybe dark side of the life will be muucchh interesting to be written in such joking angle. Hmm let’s give it try in the next post :p
My dad came to Surabaya last Thursday. He had a business trip to Jakarta. On his way back to Kalimantan he spared his time to visit his children here, cause he had free day from Friday to Sunday.
The more I see my dad, it much easier for me to feel guilty. This year he will get his 49 old age. He already has enough white hair around his head. He works hard so I and my sister and brother can get the best education he could afford. I never assumed that I’m such a good girl, no, no. in other way I still not get into anything. Everything is just so so. My education, my work, nothing special on it till I can say to him, ‘hey dad, look what I’ve been doing!’. See?
I know there’s no parent in the world begging their children to prove something to them, to give something back. But in my opinion that was our responsibility as a child to at least doing something, in our way to return back what they already gave to us. Of course we can’t ever return all the things, they give us too much. But, give it a try. Give something. Prove something. So you will see big smile hanging on them.
I’ve been such a jerk lately. I do nothing at home, and get bad score at college. I’m easily getting mad, missing home so much and those all will take me nowhere. People keep developing their selves and I just left behind. But will I let this all happen? Will I let all my laziness, guilty feeling killing me? I say NO! cause I’m gonna live, I’m gonna make my dreams come true, I’m gonna make my life more worth it every day. ‘Cause if I can’t do it for myself, I’ll do it to people I love.
Saya akan berusaha lebih kuat daripada yang lain!
*I will try harder than other. The hardest that I can do, for sure! I promise! i won’t let myself down again!