please welcome the b'day!

It’s already September and if we’re counting it’s only 3 months left to reach December.

It’s means i’m gonna see my birth date again if God still gave me opportunity to see it, amin..

This year could be my 20th birthday. Beside seventeen, most people assume that being 20 is a gate to the maturity.

Every year, in my birthday i always hope and pray to God that in the year i could be a better person. And in every year i always regret what have i done in the past one year. And i always make a plan, what to do and what don’t do for the year. something like the goals for the year. The moment seems enough because my birthdate is in December 31th so it feels nice to start all the new thing exactly in the new year in the next day.

It’s just a secret actually, so keep it for yourself ;p

I always cry in my birthday.

I always cry in my birthday.
(this photo was taken last year on d b'day)

i suppose it was a manifestation of regretness to all my fault in the year. think that i haven’t done anything good enough and how much time was spent unuseful.

I am wondering someday i can spend my birthday with smile. At least i’m satisfied with what i’ve done in the year.

And for this year, for my birthday i have some hopes.

1. I hope i can be a better friends for all my mate

2. I hope i can be a better daughter for my parents, and better sister too

3. I hope i look good to my God

Euh, i suppose my hope was never changed every year

But for my first hope, i really mean it for this year. it’s consider to my friend, call her X. Emm..i’m quite miss her and i hope she will start talking to me in near future. Actually i didn’t see any reason why we must stop talking each other. But i accept if she still mad to me and i’m waiting till she feel ready talking to me again.

And for someone that i’ve been such a jerk haha.. Everytime i say sorry he always say that i’ll do the same mistake again. You’re not right at all man.. Maybe you can’t see that i’m changing but everything need process.. trust me, everytime you complain me, i’ll take it as a critic to myself, to change myself to a better person. And everytime i say sorry, i really mean it (that’s why it quite hurt when you said that i’m ‘sick’ haha..)

I’m really sorry cause you haven’t see the best part of me, but thank you for all. Maybe we’re not a match couple, but our togetherness in the past teach me to be more mature, more positively thinking, like i’ve try to do till now.. thank you, thank you.

And for my mate, dila. I’m sorry to be such a bad mate for you. I swear in the future i’ll give everything to you.

Emm..actually this hope consider to everybody who care to me, who receive me like i am. It’s not a must to be in my side every time but thank you for the support that keep me found my mind when i’m messed up. Thank you.. i hope i can pay all of it someday.

Well yeah. Those are my hopes for this birthday.