Tuesday, January 24, 2012


Hey people, what's up? Waa.... it is almost a week I didn't say hi to you all here.. Sorry people! I must admit again I was too busy with my life; life never been as busy as nowadays! Tiring but sure very fun! Alhamdulillah...

So well I'm still struggling over my Final Project.. I still can't figure how to ended it very soon... oopss.. :p Not only that, I started worrying about 'upcoming event' that will be hold in months ahead.... so well... you see! What make everything become harder is I was sick several times. Not a big one actually, it's sort of flu and all the dizzy effect that you got when you ride in rainy days almost a everyday. But it happens a lot and sometime ruin my daily planning.. Well, I'm not really taking care myself and almost never had any exercise recently...*notes to myself*

Few days ago my bf spent the Chinese New Year holiday here in Surabaya. Not a real holiday actually since he need to fix things here... He arrived to Surabaya in Saturday morning in not so good condition and getting worse in the afternoon until we need to cut some agenda for that day. I guessed it just because he was tiring after the long journey by train and would be okay after hours of sleeping. So at nite we still having dinner with some friends. Everything was perfect until time to go home and I realized that he hadn't recovery yet.

Next day, a tight schedule is waiting for us. I couldn't do nothing but still go out with his condition. Our time was limited and everything must be done in his this time visit. Later he got an up and down fever and I became worried then ever. Plus, he started coughing.

On his last day here he woke up feeling better. I suppose it was because traditional massage that he got the night before. But once again, as the morning change to the noon, his condition getting worse. He didn't longer had the up and down fever but his temperature hadn't back to normal. And the cough, gosh...  I already give him three glass of ginger ale but there was no change at all. And he lost his appetite. I started gave up...

I asked him should we cut the agenda today so he can rest all day long but he insisted to go. The decision that I would regret later since he was coughing along the way. I fed up to myself for not forcing him to stay at home. That, and the fact that I was mad at him too that time. Maybe that made matters worse... I don't know.. :(

Now he's already back to Bogor and he left work to go to the hospital. He is sort of getting infection in his respiratory (that was the doctor said) and got around four different pills. We should waiting until next five days to see his condition.

You know, I still can't get it how that thing can happened to him. Whatever it is, I feel miserable and really really sad. He become stubborn and immature when he's getting sick. That made me often yelled at him, in a good way, just like forcing him to eat this or do this and so on. Or he didn't text me about his current condition when I'm here worrying him as hell!

Deep inside I feel sorry for him. I yelled just because I'm worried about him. He live so far away... from home, family, close friends, from me... I'm sad because I'm not by his side to take care of him or simply because we're not 'legal couple' yet so there are still a lot of limits to really taking care of him (If I am already his wife, I swear I flew to Bogor as soon as possible! Well, if I am really is, I think I already in his side, certainly!)

*i felt a bit strange since I started this post happily and now I found my eyes teary :'(*

So well... I hope he will be okay very very soon..
And... interesting thing he said when we were in shopping center that times...

"I believe now, marriage is all about commitment,"

He said such a thing refer to his current condition, feeling unwell but still need to accompany me to do shopping. "What we will facing after marriage life will be more severe," he pointed out, "without commitment, this sort of things would'nt be happened." Then he added, half-joking, "in the future, please don't force me to accompany you shopping if I am really sick, okay? Just take my my debit card,"

Yes man, I won't. I promised I won't if you promised to get well as soon as possible :(

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