Tuesday, December 31, 2013

The Silent Birthday

Hubby took me to the nearest beach in my birthday morning. Cheered me a lil bit, I really appreciate the only-two-of us time. I hate to say this, but I swore to myself that I won't having that gloomy birthday again in the future. NEVER EVER. (just thinking about that already made me sad :'( )

I never ask for a gift, nor a party. But we didn't have birthday everyday, right? Am I asked to much if at least, I can choose with whom I want to be, where, and what I want to do only for a day? Despite having at least one of them, I trapped in the worst condition I could ever imagine I would have in my birthday. Even nobody seems care that (just forget the fact that it was my birthday, it was way too far..) I am a pregnant woman that need a peace, really need to take care what is inside my tummy and mind. Nobody.

Everything was not in order, people kept yelling, that was a HUGE CHAOS. I got a terrible headache, I guess I gonna EXPLODE. But then I found myself cry in two days row because even though I hate the condition, I couldn't change it. And that was a too heavy burden to be taken of in my current fragile condition. Then, where was my husband? Oh, you know how man can be such a pain in the ass? That how he was that time. Perfect timing, eh?

Gosh, I am crying while writing this. 

You know, there was time in my birthday when I think it may be a joke, that the condition will get better. Hubby took me somewhere else so we can enjoy our time...that it is just a huge thunderstorm before the rainbow... yeah sort of things. But I fooled myself. When the evening comes I know it was the most bitter end-closing/ birthday that ever exist. I got hurt and the recovery wasn't easy. But finally I found this win win solution; it is okay if I can't change the condition, but I will keep in my mind that I won't be there again in my special occasion. If you can't change it, at least you can deny it. Case closed.

( PS: I am writing this three weeks after the shit day..so just call me okay now. I love my husband but that didn't make me stop to get mad at him every time I remembered what was happened. Oh my poor baby..)

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